Yellow Ranger

Like most college students, I spent my spring break in my underwear eating fruit loops and watching reruns of hit dramas like Judging Amy, ER, and Law and Order on TNT. And while I'm always happy to stare into George Clooney's soulful eyes as he holds the power of life and death in his hands twice a day every weekday, I occasionally like to explore my other interests, which include watching Power Rangers on the Fox Family Channel.

I think Fox Family has the rights to pretty much every Power Rangers series produced in the United States, because at various points they've shown Power Rangers SPD, Power Rangers Lost Galaxy, Power Rangers Ninja Storm, Power Rangers Time Force, and Power Rangers Pedophile Invasion, to name just a few. This spring break, however, I was thrilled to discover that they were showing the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, featuring everyone's favorite pre-teen heartthrob, Jason David Frank as Tommy Oliver, the Green Ranger. (I don't mean he was a heartthrob as a pre-teen, he was in his early twenties during the show's initial run, I just mean he caused our hearts to throb when we were pre-teens. And not my heart specifically, not gay. But in general I would imagine he caused many pre-teens' hearts to throb. Girls' hearts. And some guys'. I would think, probably).

Anyway, even though Tommy might have stolen the spotlight for much of the show, how can we ever forget the first wet dream fantasy of millions of young American boys (and some girls?), Amy Jo Johnson? Oh original Pink Ranger from initial Power Rangers run 1993-1996, you can morph my Dinozord any time. Amy Jo, you might have made eyes at Jason David, but I know in your heart, you only had feelings for me. I don't know whatever happened to you, except I think you were on Felicity that one time, but wherever you are, know that our love, in the form of my pubescent fantasies, lives on forever.

Then of course, we have the Black Power Ranger, whose defining characteristic was...that...he was black...and the Yellow Ranger, whose defining characteristic was...that...she was yellow. I mean Asian! Oh god. And there was the Red Ranger, who was an Indian! Haha, just kidding folks, I think he was Italian. Or Spanish. They all look the same to me. And the Blue Ranger, who was made out of cheese or something.

And so it was, on looking up all the original power rangers actors on IMDB.com, that I came across a terrible discovery. It seems that our beloved Yellow Ranger, Thuy Trang, died in a car accident in 2001. I don't remember Trini, as her character was called on Power Rangers, all that well, because I was staring at Jason Da...I mean Amy Jo Johnson for most of the show. But she was a dedicated Ranger, and I bet she's kicking Lord Zed's ass right now, somewhere in that big Angel Grove in the sky. But my friends, I'm afraid there might be more than meets the eye to Thuy Trang's death. I'm afraid darker forces may be at work here than mere automobile accidents. Why do I say this? The date of her funeral. September 10, 2001. Draw your own conclusions people. Draw your own conclusions.

Since Thuy Trang, other Yellow Rangers have come and gone, but none will ever really replace Thuy in our hea...

Wait what?

The Yellow Ranger on Power Rangers Dino Thunder is a class-A babe?


Oh snap, fellas, break me off a piece of that! Emma Lahana, you'll always be my Yellow Ranger.