A Brief Conversation with Myself
A Play in One Act

Me: Is it wrong that I only care about talking to girls when they're attractive (re: not fat) and they don't have boyfriends, or at least I don't know that they have boyfriends, and when I look them up on Facebook and they do have boyfriends I don't care about them anymore?
Myself: What about guys?
Me: Oh I don't care about them at all.
Myself: Well, at least you're not gay!
Me: God I hate you, me.
Myself: Come again?